BLOG - REFLECTIONS & INSPIRATION


I am grateful for this opportunity to share these writings with you. For me writing brings reflection, clarity, insight and healing. The real healing through writing is realizing that my need to keep quiet, is far greater than my need to express.

There are also quotes from different people. I find these to be revealing and inspirational reminders of what's important in this precious life; and for me that's to stop, and rest in the peace that's always here.


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THE MOST SIMPLE THERAPY ~ THE MOST PROFOUND HEALING 

 

Most trauma, past issues and experiences that stop us from living in an expansive, trusting, spontaneous, peaceful, alive, loving and joyful way seems to be because we were never really SEEN, LOVED, RESPECTED AND ACCEPTED. So in all kinds of weird and wonderful, and not so wonderful ways, we desperately try to find that. 
 

It just dawned on me today the most healing thing that can happen, is to be with people that see us, love us, respect us and accept us, as we are, and maybe in that acceptance we accept ourselves, as we are, and in that acceptance, maybe it's possible for some profound healing, resolution and transformation to happen.

 

Kunda Music ~ https://kundamusic.com/home

 

 

 

 

 

MY FEAR & RESISTANCE TO PEACE & SILENCE 

 

I was with a friend today having a cup of tea, and after an hour of conversing together, I was painfully aware of my fear, tension and resistance to allow the conversation to end, to allow space, to allow silence. 

Despite feeling that fear and resistance, the conversation did come to an end. Initially there was uneasiness and tension in the silence, and my feeling was to fill in the space with conversation as quickly as possible. I found myself staying with the uneasiness, feeling the discomfort of this resistance to silence. After a short time the tension left; and there was this simple relaxed awareness.

From that place speaking happened, or it didn't, thoughts came and went; and  looking out the window banana leaves were moving in the breeze, everything was just happening in the most simple, ordinary and natural way. I found myself no longer in resistance, I was in the same room, and with the same person; but now without  resistance to silence. Everything flowed in the most natural way; there was a peace and easiness with no tension. I was in conversation, and I was aware of conversation. There was this simple, relaxed  tension free beauty and peace of non-resistance; the freedom of everything just being as it is, without fear, control or preference. 

It was like awareness being  aware of awareness, and observing  everything arising and returning, like drawing pictures on still water.

Having shared this story with you, where am I now ? Was this an experience that has come and gone, and hopefully I can recapture this 'experience' sometime in the future ?

From my observation life seems to be an endless series of experiences that come and go in awareness. Usually I find the conversation and the experience is the greater part that I relate to, and identify with; and awareness is somewhere in the background.

It seems that when fear and doubt are not given attention, awareness becomes more and more apparent

I have frustration around finding myself resting in awareness, and then finding myself out of this awareness, and then not knowing how to get back into resting in this awareness. 

Sitting here I realize that fear and doubt are like a dark cloud that I create; and from that place of fear and doubt, I debate and discuss as to where, and how to find the sun.

Kunda Music - https://kundamusic.com/home

 

 

 

 

 

THE GREAT MISUNDERSTANDING - A VERSION OF A PAPAJI STORY  

 

A man ordered a new Porsche sports car; he was very excited, and for weeks was looking forward to take delivery of his beautiful new $200,000 car. He thought about it, he dreamt about it, he was online viewing the vehicle endlessly. Finally the luxurious German engineered masterpiece was delivered to his home. He was overwhelmed by the red ...colour and sleek lines, and the powerful rumble of the engine as it was driven into the driveway. In awe he admired its beauty; Opening the solid car door, the sweet smell of leather and newness overtook his senses. As he shut the door and sat in the contoured comfort of the white leather seat, he felt surrounded by luxury and beauty. Gripping the smooth race crafted steering wheel; he took in the reality of his new acquisition, and the status and admiration that comes with such a prestigious motor vehicle. 

He sunk back into the seat and was overwhelmed, euphoric, blissful, happy, silent and at peace; something extraordinary was happening for some seconds or minutes; he wasn’t aware of time. 

He concluded that this feeling was because he now owned this unique and luxurious vehicle; and knowing all that it represented; all the status and admiration that it would bring. 

THIS IS THE GREAT MISUNDERSTANDING, he wasn’t feeling so overwhelmingly happy, at peace and blissful because he now owned the vehicle, but in reality when he sat in the car, in those seconds, in those minutes, he finally had what he desired, and he no longer desired anything, he was desireless for that short time, and in that place there was peace, happiness, bliss, fulfilment and silence. 

It isn’t what we have or what we acquire that brings the happiness and fulfilment, but the state of not desiring. In the moments of not wanting anything, is the place of bliss, silence, peace happiness and fulfilment. When we misunderstand why we feel so at peace and happy, and attribute it to acquiring something, and not to the fact that it’s the state of not desiring anything that makes us feel so at peace - That is the great misunderstanding, and if we don’t see that, we continue to 'desire and acquire' and miss seeing that happiness peace and fulfilment has nothing to do with anyone, or the acquisition of anything. 

The song 'Everything we see' from the album 'Surrender' -  https://kundamusic.com/track/643769/everything-we-see

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE SIMPLICITY & JOY OF MUSIC  

 

I haven’t been out playing guitar and singing for a very long time now, years in fact. I am very much caught up with working as a disability care worker to make a living. 

There is one beautiful autistic young man that I play music with, and I realized last week ,this is the only time that I regularly play guitar and sing. I am grateful to him for reminding me of the beauty, simplicity and connection of music and song. 

I have never been a technical musician, in fact I know very little about music theory or how it actually works, it’s a very intuitive expression that I enjoy very much.

I find it isn’t about complexity or technical ability; but simplicity. Having said that, I have admiration and appreciation for musicians that are technically and creatively brilliant. 

When I was 13 years old, I was like many kids, I wanted to play guitar, but I didn’t want to practice. So the few chords I did know, I played and played and played. Just one chord over and over, two chords over and over. I had to get everything I could out of what I had !

I put my ear on the side of the guitar and listened. I became aware that a D chord wasn’t just a D chord but contained every note, every sound, it was a symphony in itself. How D is strummed and picked, either soft or loud, all the endless possibilities and expressions, so much beauty. 

I realized it’s no different to relating to people. You have to spend time with someone to really get to know them, to develop a relationship, to know the depth, complexity and beauty of them. I can play a D chord and it's familiar, I know it, and it can appear to be repetitious and boring, so I move onto the next chord. It can appear to be boring, so it's time for another chord, but when I stay with D and delve into the complexity and depth of D, something beautiful happens; and then E will come along just at the right time, not through rejecting D, but through deeply discovering and meeting D. Music is not a casual meeting, but the willingness to go into the unknown, to let go of all preconceived ideas, and be open to a spontaneous intimate meeting.  

I find with many things in my life boredom is often my inability to stay with something long enough to discover what's actually here. When I stay with something for a short time, it's appears boring, it's a brick wall to nowhere. If I stay with something long enough without a preconceived idea of what it is, or what's possible, I can discover it's a doorway. 

Kirtan/ bhagans are very much based on repetition, and this is not the exclusive domain of the Indian Hindu tradition, but is the underlying musical foundation of many traditional cultures and tribes throughout the world . For me music and song is an invitation, a bridge into the unknown, a space where it’s possible for differences to dissolve, and to feel a sense of connection and unity with everyone and everything. I find it's a beautiful way to experience the joy, peace and aliveness of silence. I feel this inherent quality and possibility is not limited to any particular genre of music, language or belief, but is always present and possible. 

My album ‘Surrender’ was based on very simple songs. These songs became very rich, full and complex productions that were expressed through many musicians, instruments and singers. 
Studio recording is a beautiful and creative process, and a unique expression and interpretation of songs, and for that I am very grateful to Kamal, Oles, Sangeeta and all the musicians and singers that contributed to that production. 

To be playing music with Luke my autistic friend, I am grateful to be reminded of the simplicity and magic that music holds. When I play with him it's no different from playing with an incredibly good musician, In fact it's easier to be in the silence and magic of the music with him, because it appears that he has no preconceived ideas of where the music is supposed to go, or how it's supposed to be played.

In that openness and spontaneity is  where magic happens through music for me. It's beyond technical ability, beyond autism, it's a non verbal meeting in the underlying silence, beauty, aliveness and peace that everyone longs for. 

God willing for want of a better expression, I look forward to playing again with friends, and enjoying the beauty, joy, aliveness and silence that music and song brings. 
 

'Surrender' - https://kundamusic.com/home

 

 

 

 

 

 

THERE IS NO ESCAPE 

 

There is no escape from having to sleep; we leave behind all the demands, thinking and busyness that happens throughout the day; we close our eyes and enjoy the peace that sleep brings. From the richest to the poorest, no matter what country we are from, or what age, we all have to eventually return to this peace; and recharge. It’s kind of like a science fiction movie, where all of the human beings are busy like bees caught up in all the dramas of the day, and then at night, we close our eyes and sleep; ultimately, eventually we have no choice but to sleep. (And sometimes during the day) In sleep all that I identify with disappears, and I rest in this peace. What an incredible phenomenon that I take for granted. 
The song - "Eyes are wide open who is the seer" - https://kundamusic.com/track/643767/eyes-are-wide-ope

 

 

 

 

 

 

SECURITY & SPIRITUALITY  

 

 

It is easy to say "God's will" or "I see God In all", when the mind and senses are pampered and the ego is inflated. It does not demand spiritual heroism to demonstrate brave equanimity when life is smooth and fortune is smiling. But just as night follows day, their counterparts follow them. Then is the time to demonstrate true equilibrium of mind ! 

Bhagavad Gita - Daily readings by Swami Venkatesananda 
 

Kunda Music https://kundamusic.com/home

 

 

THE HARD DRIVE IN MY HEAD 

 

I woke this morning; Sunday yahoo no work. It's been a very full on work week! I wanted to stay in bed and just slow down and relax. I started to breath slowly with the intention of not engaging in all the usual thoughts. things to do etc. I really needed to stop and plug into some peace and silence. I realize this is the place that connects me to joy, aliveness, balance, peace and well being; this is the source of energy; the recharge station. 

No ...surprise ! the incredible thought process kicked in, in relation to the past and future; and the problem solving capacity; amazing! It started doing what it does best, ‘it’s always on’ and looking for something to engage in, resolve, a truly incredible piece of technology. It loves a challenge. 

My mind, my hard drive; has been programmed though all the experiences of my life. It has incredible memory / data storage and the response and learning capability given any situation, is a marvel to behold, and the problem solving capacity is miraculous! 

Thoughts were randomly coming up, the movie I saw last night, the song I heard, pizza so many random ridiculous thoughts, that are an absolute waste of time. These thoughts weren’t chosen by me to engage in, these thoughts were just rolling in randomly. Like movies, a T.V. channel on automatic perpetual motion. 

When my attention is taken by one subject /thought process, I identify with it, and become totally involved, and go with it. 
It was so obvious that this mind / hard drive has a life of its own, and has nothing to do with me. When I identify with what is being presented, I get totally involved, no difference between me and the movie. But in these moments; in this awareness, I can see clearly what is actually going on; and in seeing this, there is peace.

 I am so grateful when this happens.                           

The song 'Everything We See Is Just A Dream' from the album 'Surrender' - https://kundamusic.com/track/643769/everything-we-see… 

(Photo from - 'The Daily Perspective' https://shperspectives.wordpress.com/2012/11/04/how-your-brain-forgets/ )

 

 

                                                                                                                     

COME HOME TO WHERE I ALREADY AM  

 

THE EVER FAITHFUL BELOVED AWAITS WITH OPEN ARMS, PATIENTLY, ETERNALLY, FOR ME TO ABANDON MY INFACTUATION, OBSESSION,  INFIDELITY AND UNFAITHFULNESS; AND COME HOME.

 

                                                                        

                                                                       Kunda Music -  https://kundamusic.com/home 

                                   Listen to the song 'Sweet Surrender' from the album 'Surrender' 

                          https://kundamusic.com/track/646432/sweet-surrender?feature_id=123461